I had to pull out my dating list and shuffle the cards to see which story I should begin with; but trust me, this was a no brainer. Oh dear Robert, the college crush that crushed my heart!

I’m pretty sure that almost everyone has that college crush that they fantasize about but don’t expect them to ever pay them any attention in return. Robert was mine. Too damn fine and I definitely thought he was way out of my league. But whatever, sometimes you gotta take a chance and mine definitely paid off….at first. Robert was not a student at my school, but he worked there. I used to go over to the financial aid office to inquire about absolutely nothing, just so that he could notice me. Finally, he asked me for my number and that was the beginning of Rob and I. Well at least in my mind, it was the start of something.

We texted all day every single day and spoke every night. At the time, I had not felt a connection that strong in years and it got me so excited.  He even asked me what I expected out of our friendship and it even made me more excited because guys normally don’t ask those questions you know. I felt like he was actually serious about me and was thinking about us being a couple. We were friends on twitter and used to flirt all the time there, which also made me feel like he was proud of me. All my friends knew about the Robert in my life. They had not ‘met’ Robert, but I spoke about him ALL the time. Robert loved Drake at the time, so I definitely learned nearly all Drake’s songs as it made me feel more connected to him. Don’t get me wrong, I love Drake but damn; even Drake would have gotten tired of me playing his songs all day. But I didn’t care, I loved hearing those lyrics that Robert kept tweeting about.

Couple months had passed, and it already felt like I had known Robert for a couple years. Isn’t it just crazy how we can feel that way about certain people? Your friend’s keep looking at you like you are crazy for feeling that way but you just can’t control it. There are other people that I have known for years but just never had anything close to the connection that I felt with Robert. Definitely sucks because some of those people adore me, but again, you just can’t force a connection.

In my eyes, Robert was perfect. Never disrespected me and always said the perfect things to me over the phone. Yup, OVER THE PHONE.  That was the only problem with us. We had been talking for over two months and we had still not gone on a date. Matter of fact, we only hung out on campus during his lunch break (when there wasn’t something keeping him from hanging). Have you ever been with that perfect guy that just won’t take you out? Always has an excuse for not taking you on a date? Call him Robert. So many damn excuses that I just couldn’t keep up. For some reason, he always had to work late or had some family emergency or something that just prevented us from hanging “out”.  I didn’t think too much of this then, but let me hold up this RED FLAG and TIP for my ladies reading this.

RED FLAG: Ladies, if a man wants to hang out with you, HE WILL.

TIP: DO NOT make excuses for him or dumb yourself down to believe the excuses that he gives. A man that likes you WANTS to take you OUT.  If you have been seeing a man that isn’t taking you OUT , i.e those men that always want you to come over OR chill OR anything else that just isn’t OUT, then maybe you need to consider taking him OUT of your life. 

I wish I had known that earlier and put this dude out of my life for good; but I didn’t. I believed every excuse and even forced myself to believe the ones that made no damn sense. Until I was forced to realize that I had been playing myself. Remember how I mentioned that I was friends with Robert on twitter? One day I wanted to show a friend his pictures and she asked me for his Facebook page. Yes girls, very absurd but I had never looked him up on Facebook. Twitter was our thing….or so i thought. I guess I just assumed that he was only on twitter! I decided to run a Facebook search with his name…and that was all I should have done months ago to know that I was being played.

His profile picture was a picture of him and his 8 months pregnant fiancee. To make this even better, she was having twin boys. I found this out through her post on his wall of how God had blessed her with the love of her life and their unborn twin boys. And my dear readers, I’m sure you know the rest of the story. Incase you don’t, I’ll keep it short. He apologized for not telling me and it was over like it never began.

This experience definitely taught me to PAY ATTENTION TO RED FLAGS and DO PROPER RESEARCH on every man that I am with (or think I are with).

In regards to proper research, I have heard so many people say that “if you go looking for something, you would find it” and my opinion/answer to that is “You would only find something that IS there”.

Dear Readers, what do you think about this? 




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